Do you feel lost when it comes to talking about mental health with your child?
It's a common concern for many parents. Open communication about mental health can be a powerful tool for helping your child navigate their emotions and develop healthy coping strategies.
But how do you start these conversations?
Keep reading to discover practical guidance on how to approach an open dialogue about mental health with your child.
1. Create a Safe Environment
When discussing mental health with your child, it's essential to create an environment that feels welcoming.
Choose a time and place where your child feels comfortable and is free from distractions. This could be during a quiet moment at home, such as after dinner or during a calm part of the day.
Additionally, consider having these conversations in situations where direct eye contact isn't required. Some children find it easier to open up when they don't feel the pressure of a face-to-face conversation.
For instance, talking in the car while driving can create a more relaxed atmosphere. The absence of direct eye contact can help your child feel more at ease, making it easier for them to share their feelings.
Let your child know that they can talk to you about anything without fear of judgement or punishment. Establishing this trust is critical. If they feel secure, they’re more likely to open up about their thoughts and emotions.
Reassure them that they can always come to you with their concerns, and you’ll be there to listen and support them.
This might sound like:
"I want you to know that you can always talk to me about anything that's on your mind. I’m here to listen and help however I can. We all have moments where we feel anxious or sad, and it’s okay to share those feelings. You don’t have to worry about getting in trouble or me judging you. Whatever you’re feeling, you can always come to me, and I’ll be here to support you."
2. Use Age-Appropriate Language
When talking about mental health problems, it's crucial to use language that is appropriate for your child’s age and understanding.
Younger children might need simpler explanations, such as comparing mental health to physical health – just as the body can feel unwell, so can the mind.
You can introduce more complex concepts to older children or teenagers, but always be mindful of using clear, straightforward language. Avoid using jargon or terms that might confuse them. It's important to be clear, as this helps demystify mental health issues and makes the topic less intimidating.
3. Use Relatable Tools
Another way to initiate a conversation about mental health is by using relatable tools, like the film Inside Out.
This movie provides a great starting point to discuss different feelings and how they can affect us.
After watching the film together, you can ask your child questions like, "Which character did you relate to the most today?"
This can help them articulate their own emotions and understand that it's okay to experience a wide range of feelings. It also allows them to express themselves in a non-threatening way, using the characters' experiences to mirror their own.
Another tool you could use are Feelings Cards. These typically display a range of emotions with corresponding facial expressions.
Here's how you can use them:
- Introduce the feelings cards. Start by explaining what feelings cards are and why they are helpful. You might say, "These cards show different emotions that people might feel. We can use them to help us talk about how we’re feeling."
- Explore the emotions together. Go through the cards one by one and discuss each emotion. Ask your child questions like, "What do you think this face is feeling?" or "Have you ever felt this way?" This helps familiarise them with a range of emotions and encourages them to start thinking about their own feelings.
- Use the cards to identify current feelings. Ask your child to pick a card that matches how they’re feeling today. For example, "Can you find a card that shows how you’re feeling?"
- Normalise emotions. Use the feelings cards to reinforce the idea that all emotions are valid and normal. If your child picks a "sad" card, for example, discuss how everyone feels sad sometimes and that it's okay to talk about it. You could say, "It's okay to feel sad sometimes. We all feel that way, and it's important to talk about it when we do."
4. Use Open Ended Questions
Instead of asking your child yes or no questions, try to ask open-ended questions that invite them to share more information.
Closed Question: "Are you feeling okay?"
Open-Ended Alternative: "Can you tell me how you're feeling right now?" or "What’s been on your mind lately?"
Closed Question: "Are you upset about something?"
Open-Ended Alternative: "I noticed you seem a bit quiet. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" or "What's been bothering you lately?"
Closed Question: "Are you worried about something?"
Open-Ended Alternative: "What’s been worrying you recently?" or "Can you tell me more about what’s been bothering you?"
When they do open up, practice active listening by giving them your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and acknowledging their feelings.
Respond with empathy, reinforcing that their emotions are valid and important. This type of communication strengthens your relationship and makes your child feel supported.
5. Validate Their Feelings
It’s crucial to validate your child’s emotions, whatever they may be.
When your child shares their feelings, acknowledge them without dismissing or minimizing their experiences.
For example, if your child is upset about something that seems minor to you, you can acknowledge their feelings by saying, "I can see that this is upsetting you."
This validation helps your child feel understood and accepted, supporting their emotional development.
It teaches them that all emotions, whether positive or negative, are a natural part of being human.
6. Discuss Coping Strategies
Teaching your child coping strategies is an integral part of helping them manage their mental wellbeing.
Introduce them to simple techniques that they can use when they’re feeling stressed. For example, you could teach them breathing exercises or encourage them to write in a journal.
Emphasise the importance of maintaining healthy habits, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, and getting enough sleep, as these can have a significant impact on their mental wellbeing.
7. Know When to Seek Help
It’s important to recognise when your child might need professional help.
If you notice persistent changes in their behaviour, mood, or sleep patterns, or if they express feelings of hopelessness or severe anxiety, it might be time to consult a mental health professional.
Explain to your child that just as they would go to the doctor for a physical illness, it’s equally important to seek behavioral health care if they’re struggling emotionally.
8. Follow Up
Mental health is not a one-time conversation – it’s an ongoing dialogue that evolves as your child grows. Make it a point to check in regularly with your child about how they’re feeling. Keep the lines of communication open and let them know that you’re always available to talk.
Summary
By engaging in open conversations about mental health with your child, you can empower them to understand their emotions, seek support when needed, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Remember, it's never too early or too late to start these conversations. By creating a safe and supportive environment, you can help your child build a strong foundation for their mental wellbeing.
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